Jokes
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
What’s the matter, dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room, “Why are you down here at this time of night?”
The husband looks up from his coffee, “I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating.
You were only 16. Do you remember back then?” he says solemnly. The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive. “Yes, I do” she replies.
The husband pauses.
The words were not coming easily.
“Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?”
“Yes, I remember,” said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues.
“Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, “Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?”
“I remember that too” she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says “I would have gotten out today.”
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There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals,
a Lion, a Chimpanzee, a Giraffe, and a Squirrel
They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.
Who do you guess will win?
Your answer will reflect your personality.
So think carefully . . .
Try and answer within 30 seconds. Got your answer?
If your answer is:
Lion = you’re dull.
Chimpanzee = you’re dense.
Giraffe = you’re a complete moron.
Squirrel = you’re hopeless.
A COCONUT TREE DOESN’T HAVE BANANAS.
Obviously you’re stressed and overworked.
You should take some time off and relax
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Intelligence Test
You are going to hate yourself over this. It scores automatically, too. Take this advice … be sure and think before you answer.
Click here: How Smart Are You?
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Here’s a little humour to help ease the pain of your next trip to the petrol pump…
All of these examples do NOT imply that petrol is cheap; it just illustrates how outrageous some prices are…. You will be really shocked by the last one! At least, I was.
Compared with Petrol……
Think a gallon of petrol is expensive?
This makes one think, and also puts things in perspective to other things we buy.
Diet Coke 16 oz $1.29 … $10.32 pe gallon
Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 ………..$9.52 per gallon
Gatorade 20 oz $1.59…… $10.17 per gallon
Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 ………. $10.00 per gallon
Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 ……. $33.60 per gallon
Vick’s Nyquil 6 oz $8.35. … $178.13 per gallon
Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 .. $123.20 per gallon
Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 …… . $25.42 per gallon
Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 …..$84.48 per gallon
And this is the REAL KICKER…
Evian water 9 oz $1.49..$21.19 per gallon! $21.19 for WATER and the buyers don’t even know the source!
(Evian spelled backwards is Naive.)
Ever wonder why printers are so cheap?
So they have you hooked for the ink.
Someone calculated the cost of the ink at
$5,200 a gallon. (five thousand two hundred dollars)
So, the next time you’re at the pump, be glad your car doesn’t run on water, Scope, or Whiteout, Pepto Bismol, Nyquil or God forbid, Printer Ink!
Just a little humour to help ease the pain of your next trip to the pump…